Of heartbreaks and lost loves…..

I have not written for a while.Not because I have nothing to write about,but because I let ‘life’ get in the way.I read a lot less too-reason?I tell myself or rather convince myself as consolation that life gets in the way,but what is it really?Most of the time it is just complacency,and the internet-yes,Facebook,Yahoo,Google…I have become lazy,am appalled to admit,and have joined the Internet craze bandwagon which needs to stop.

Internet dating has become the in thing.You meet someone online and start chatting-very easy considering over the internet,you can be anyone and anything you want to be.You can be charming,funny,post photo shopped photos that portray you as the supermodel you always dreamed of being.The possibilities are endless.Reminds me of someone who ‘dated’ a man who told her he lived in a gated community,and she later found out she was chatting up a criminal within the confines of a jail!

Some people are very good in the written word,and can blow you away when they write,but make very poor conversationalists,and so they hide behind their computer screens and ‘date’ people who are more often than not in a different country-so they never have to meet..There is Skype,but even that can be manipulated.Then there are those who are very vocal online and off line,they leave you impressed with their writing skills and if you do get to meet,are quite as charming,the quintessential gentlemen.

A few years ago I met and fell prey to such a guy.I’ll call him Ethan for this story’s sake.Oh boy,was this guy smooth or what?We ‘met’ on a mutual friend’s wall.I was impressed by his good English.He was well educated,handsome(with dimples,and those who know me,know am a sucker for dimples)…eloquent,suave…a perfect gentleman who still believed in chivalry…I thought I’d found THE one.You can tell a lot about someone by the way they write,the books they read,their Facebook posts,and I was smitten.We started off with playful banter on mutual friends posts,took it to private messages via Facebook-took it a step further and exchanged phone numbers.He had a great sense of humour and we spent hours chatting via texts,until he introduced me to  little known application(then)-Whatsapp.I shudder to imagine the time I spent hunched over my phone,till sometimes 3 am!I was like a teenager in love..we talked for hours when he called.I had fallen hook,line and sinker.

By the time I came to a realisation that I was living in a bubble and this man was just stringing me a long,it took a while and it was almost too late.I had started to question his movements.I realised that I knew almost nothing about this man.I sat down with a mutual friend and the things we discovered,am still trying to come to terms with.He was too secretive,always claimed to be busy,travelling and a myriad other excuses.Ethan was just not the man I thought he was…and to cut a long story short,I discovered he was a con man and fed off other peoples’ hard earned cash.

I was devastated,which is understating it a lot.I still feel betrayed up to date.It still smarts,but only because I was so naive as to get caught up in a lie.I am thankful for a lot of things,most of all because my intuition got the better of my emotions.After I found out what he was,I confronted Ethan and he tried playing the victim,denied with righteous indignation and proceeded to cut off all ties.Blocked me on Facebook,changed all his numbers-he had 3,and that was it.Never heard from him again.I have since grown very wary of Facebook ‘dating’ 

My advise,be yourself,it’s all that you can, and ever can be.For guys,never chase a lady you do not intend to catch.I got lucky before it went too far,some poor girl might not be so fortunate.Be Real.Stay Real….